Day 10

Today's weigh in: 132

I didn't really drop a whole pound today - just enough to round down. Sorta. It was actually a little disappointing. I'm worried that I may have already lost the easy weight.

My younger sister (the not fat one) is only about an inch shorter than me (if that) and she told me the other day that she weighs 105 pounds. That was disheartening. I will never be that thin again. Will I be happy if I can get back to 120? And what if I can't? I've started feeling kind of disgusting if I feel full. I know that's not healthy, and the last thing I should do is starve myself - that's terrible for your metabolism - but I just really want to get as much off by summer as I can.

I'm going back to Ithaca in exactly 1 month for my graduation ceremony, and it probably doesn't matter, but I wanted to look my best for that. I'm praying that I can get down to 125 by then. I don't know if I can or not. I mean, I've only been doing this for 10 days so far, and I've lost a bit in that time. Maybe I can take the rest of it off in a month. Really, if I get it off before Florida, that is the ultimate goal, but I'd kind of like to just have a stable routine down by then - not necessarily a weight-loss kind of routine that will just get messed up during the week-long drive. I dunno. We'll see. Just not feeling so great about it right now.