Today's weigh in: 130
So, Day 15 got lost in there. It was kind of a stressful day. It involved some eating of sugar cookies. That probably shouldn't happen again But then, today involved the drinking of soda and the eating of WAY too much manicotti, so apparently I'm just really slipping here. I'm just kind of frustrated in general. I'm tired of avoiding cookies already, and while I do enjoy the exercise - it gives me something to do with my day - I really don't know that I'm going to be able to lose any more weight. It's not coming off as quickly as it did in the beginning, which, I know, is normal, but it's no less frustrating. Is it wrong to want to look tan and thin and perfect for my graduation next month, and not to want to have to do a thing to get there? And in all honesty, I don't know what I good weight for me would even be. My youngest sister weighs 105 pounds. 105 pounds! What the hell? I keep coming back to that. She's only about an inch shorter than me, if that, and she may have a slightly smaller frame, but I honestly don't think she does. She just looks awesome. Not, like, scary, unhealthily thin or frail, just pretty much perfect. I don't want to get down to her weight - I do think that would be unhealthy for me, but I don't even know that I can get down to 120. I don't even know that I should. I don't know what I want. I just want to stop feeling so disgustingly fat all the time. I've lost 8 pounds. Shouldn't I feel better?
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